I grew up raised Christian but in a lazy way. I went to a private Christian school but never really bought into it, I never saw the commandments or Christian Values displayed at home and in daily life and well, it just was never for me I guess.
I rebelled hard into radical atheism after getting my GED at 16 because I hated the school so much and became a real insufferable son of a bitch for awhile there.
After a couple years of listless weed smoking I tried acid for the first time and was really shaken by the intense feeling of oneness and depth to life that I had previously never felt before. And so I began to reach back out to myth and religion for answers. Science had already proven relatively worthless in my day to day existence as far as habits, beliefs, rituals, etc. and I felt I was lacking a great deal.
After awhile exploring a handful of religions and moving from using psychedelics as a way to have a fun day to a more ritualistic/shamanic tool for personal growth and change I transitioned my reading from religion to philosophy. Camus, Kant, Jung, Thoreau, Watts, Sartre, Confucius, Krishnamurti, Epictetus, McKenna, etc. I was lost in the philosophical sauce.
Alongside philosophy I was diving into spirituality and myth and ritual, reading a lot of Campbell. I realized I was severely lacking in meaningful ritual and spiritual guidance with no one to really help me.
Come to the present moment and I would hesitate to find a short way to describe my beliefs because I still feel like I know so little. But I found the absurdist philosophy meshed so well with my initial discoveries on psychedelics, and I've taken to using Tarot very infrequently as a sort of mirror to reflect my self back to me via the classic archetypes of humanity when I'm in 'crisis'.
So, tell me about you if you don't mind?
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