This is about a Kundalini moving/awakening triggered by LSD. Feel free to ignore it if that’s too disagreeable, I understand. But I would first ask that you hear me out. Drugs are not the subject of this discussion, and for me simply happened to be the catalyst, I do not intend to discuss them in any context not directly relevant to my experience, and I ask you to take it as incidental.
I know there is some disagreement on this subject among the community(at large, idk about here on reddit) but I believe I experienced a Kundalini awakening on LSD several years ago. I know some of you probably believe that the involvement of any psychedelics invalidates the experience, or disqualifies it from being a kundalini awakening, but frankly I’m not interested in arguing it. Why?
Our perception is the result of a constant cocktail of pituitary chemicals, ingested additives(even from the daily diet), light exposure, and other phenomenon which would traditionally be described as physical that undeniably effect the consciousness profoundly. My point being is that no known mode of consciousness can be described without drugs, i.e; substances that alter perception. You simply couldn’t live or experience in this medium without them, wether they’re the ones produced by your body or absorbed from the environment. Similarly, our conscious can control these chemicals; abating depression and anxiety shrinks the amygdala, and rebalances body hormones, even when achieved through meditation, psychotherapy, or other methods that would traditionally be described as psychological. The system works both ways, and a dismissal of that reality ignores union of opposites and principle of paradox quite obliquely. And afterall, the Vedic scriptures reference the third step to enlightenment as,”plants filled with light,” To add a little external ethos, almost all popular modernist thinkers(Watts, McKenna, Leary, Huxley, Wilson, Sheldrake) agree with the notion that alteration of consciousness by one or the other are equally effective routes to the mystical experience. “All paths lead to God,” – Old Sufi saying. To add a little disclaimer, I have experienced other minor mystical experiences both before I had ever used mind altering substances, during use, and during periods of lengthy cessation since as well.
Instead or re-raising this tireless argument, I wish to explain my experience, why I believe it was an awakening, and to ask for others to relate and discuss the experience itself and that of their own.
This was my third acid trip, but my strongest to date. I have since taken up to 900 micrograms, and have never felt anything nearly so intense. I rarely consume the substance anymore, and never seek it out, and I have come to believe it has shown me what it wanted to. I had previously been an athiest, then a pagan/shamanic revivalist, then an atheist again. I was quite young at my entrance to paganim(12) and my retun to atheism(15-16). At the time, I had an interest in philosophy but no working knowledge. My point in mentioning this is to denote my interest in the mystical experience, but my inability to gain significant ground in it, as to provide an insight into the working psychology of the situation.
I am curently 20. This experience occurred sometime shortly before or after Christmas 2016. The date eludes me. I never bothered to record it, thought it might as well have happened yesterday.
My experience was as follows:
I had consumed roughly 540 micrograms of LSD in 3 180 microgram tabs, taken sequentially, roughly 4 hours before the experience. It was in the exact peak of the experience that this occurred to me, that is, it was at no point prior so powerful, nor after. I had started off just walking around in my finished basement, observing everyday objects and their dramatically altered appearance, as well as watching my face melt and shift in the bathroom mirror. Once it really started to kick in, about the two hour mark, I lied down with my torso on the couch and my legs hanging off, staring at the ceiling and the oscillating fan for about another two hours, simply contemplating the nature of things. After awhile I realized I had been there for some time, and I got up, walked around, and repositioned myself lying on the ground; I do not remember the exact position. Directly above my head was the ceiling fan, and I watched it’s monotonous spinning. I allowed myself to relax, and the effects intensified, the blades melted together into a spinning disk, and the circular light cover on the center(light turned off) joined in union. The entire arrangement twisted inward, and at that moment it occurred. The thing suddenly exploded; I was frozen to the ground in what I now understand to be corpse pose and my whole nervous system lit up electric, and then I saw it, literally. A golden ratio spiral, growing exponentially outward and expanding until it subsumed my field of vision. It contained a frantic flurry of sequential images I can only describe as a history of the universe focused on humanity. An immense flash, a uniform haze, a bubbling and condensing, then distinction and shape, then structure and balance, briefly the sun, the surface of a planet, suddenly covered in life, breathing(life, catastrophe, life catastrophe, life, catastrophe) then history, a building upwards, war, revolution, innovation, technology, modernity, then an advancement of those human elements so rapidly and inexplicable I could only discern a blinding energy and complexity. The experience I’m sure lasted less than ten seconds, but it might as well have been ten minutes. At the end, I was imparted with an absolute certainty of understanding with no knowledge of how I had attained it: that all things shared the same center, the same source and end, within and without. That all things were, somehow, all the same, all one. The image collapsed on itself and I was released from paralysis. I looked over my right shoulder, still lying down, and saw my dog looking at me quite concernedly. In that instant, the weight of the experience hit me, and I KNEW I was one with muh pooch. I got into a crawl, pet her and wept profusely. I said something pretty corny and of psychedelic staple, like,” Nova I AM you.” And that was it, the trip persisted as a normal trip; I contemplated the experience for part of it, but felt extremely whole even though I did not understand what I had seen, or how it related to the gifted conclusion. I went upstairs and stared out the window for a great while. Hours later, I fell asleep to the five fold echoing of each passing second on my clock.
I later came to understand what I had seen, if only in a glimpse; the monad, it’s duality, the maya, brahman, atman, buddha, the Self, God, the immovable object, Nothing.
Since my experience, I consider myself an amateur/hobby theosophist, and endeavor to learn about consciousness and spirituality from as many sources as possible, including: Freudian and Jungian psychology, classic, contemporary, and esoteric philosophy, brainwave entrainment and consciousness altering machines, meditation, astral projection, lucid dreaming, psychedelics(now focused solely on consciousness exploration and aided with meditation), yoga, pagan traditions, shamanic traditions, christian teachings, islamic teachings, Kabbalah, Gnosticism, Hinduism, Buddhism, consciousness in quantum theory and the physical sciences, the list goes on.
I understood what I saw maybe a year ago, six months in to my deep dive into all things spiritual, mystical, and psychedelic. But nothing ever described the experience till I read about Kundalini awakenings. I knew the instant I read the phrase,” the coiled one,” that this is what I had seen. No other awakening experience I’ve come to be aware of describes it: the seizure of the nervous system, the illumination of consciousness with overwhelming information, the inexplicable knowledge.
The path this has led me on has culminated thus far in an acceptance of the universe, as well as the taming of my depression, anxiety, and countless other neurosis. No other single event has had such a strong sway on my development as a person. That being said, I am not without some trace of those maladies, though in amounts I consider healthy and manageable. I still get upset, lose my temper, and feel down and even alone at times. This is okay; I know I always will, and that to strive for such an impossible state invalidates the pleasant feelings in time through lack of distinctive comparatives, and creates a never-ending desire.
I leave this here today to relate the most vivid and influential experience I’ve had in my life, and to ask for you to relate yours, or at least award me your thoughts on my own. I hope this provides something to relate to for others out there who’ve experienced something similar. If nothing else, I hope it provides some food for thought.
Please, lemme know your thoughts below.
Cheers, peace, and namaste
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