I could have posted on /r/twinflames but they are just so rude and toxic over there I can't really go there.
I work with a lot of spiritual teachers. I have been blessed enough to come in contact with good people. but I became an addict and got kicked out of most spiritual spaces. I still had a shaman working with me and he would guide me on stuff. Recently I started having past life memories of someone and connecting to their soul and having visions of this person. I was told I am a twin flame and I have a twin flame by my teacher. so I reached out to some psychics for confirmation. And I asked a reiki healer for a healing cause I was very confused. The shaman I was working with got irritated because he was teaching me how to heal MYSELF. and I refused to follow instructions so he felt like it was a waste of his time and he stopped working with me and even stopped talking to me. I was talking to a psychic who was guiding me on my twin flame journey. I paid her for a reading. And she just couldnt get it to come through me no matter how many times she tried to email it to me. And then she goes "I dont think the universe is ready to give you this information" and I freak out. And she disappears.
Getting ignored or ghosted is a huge trigger for me, especially by spiritual guides who dont think I am ready. for whatever specialized knowledge I am asking. I am just in a dark place. I am feeling really helpless and hopeless. I don't know what to do about this so called twin flame journey anymore. I wanna walk away.
I am feeling so lost and dark and helpless. This truly dark night of the soul.
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