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This is probably a repost but I have not seen it and told this joke over twenty years ago…

One day a woman is out shopping for a gift to give her friend for her birthday. Her friend had tons of things and liked really weird items, the kind of things that most people would just look at and shake their heads. So while the woman was out looking around she came across a store of oddities and figured she might just find something there for her friend.

She went inside and started to look around. After a bit a little old lady came out of the back room and with a odd little accent asks if she needs any help. The woman explains the situation and the little old lady says she may have just what she is looking for. Soon she comes out with a little shrunken head and explains how it was made by a tribe in the jungles of West Africa. The woman looks at it and then explains that her friend actually had one that she picked up a few years ago while in the Peace Corps.

The little old lady is unperturbed and starts looking around and then comes up with a didgeridoo. She plays a little tune and then tells the woman about how she received it from a shaman of an Aborigine tribe. The woman thinks about it for a second and then remembers seeing something very similar in the corner of her friends apartment. It was slightly larger than this one and not wanting to chance buying another one she turns this one down as well.

Before long the woman is almost ready to leave as she just isn't finding anything that catches her eye. Just as she is about to leave the little old lady comes out of the back room with a small cage. She stops the woman and says before you leave I want you to have a look at this. I have had it a very long time but I am old and really no longer have a need for it. The little old lady sets the cage down on the floor and opens the door and a little odd creature walks out. He had blue and green mottled fur with a little red tuft on the top of his head with a small set of horns. The woman asks what it is and the little old lady explains. She says, This is a fuckmonster it is a most unique creature and will certainly not be something your friend has already. She then looks at the fuckmonster and says, Fuckmonster, buffalo. The little monster stands up and from out of nowhere grows a huge penis and goes over and starts hammering away at a stuffed buffalo. The woman buys it on the spot.

On her trip home the little monster is riding along on the front seat of her car. It was a little bit of a drive and before long she looks over at the little guy and an idea pops into her head on how to make the trip more interesting. She then says, Fuckmonster, me. The little guy stands up and slides under the steering wheel grows his big old hard on and starts pounding away at her. She is in unbelievable ecstasy having orgasm after orgasm as the monster works his magic.

The trip was much more interesting but she happened to hit a couple parked cars along the way and before long a police officer pulls her over. At the point the little fuckmonster was sitting on the seat again and she had mostly straightened herself up. The officer walks up to her window and in a deep burly voice asks the woman if she knows why she had been pulled over. She says she does and was very sorry and was planning to go back and leave her information on the cars but found it very hard to stop. Then she proceeds to tell him why that was and all about the fuckmonster. She finishes and asks him for leniency and he just shakes his head and states, Fuckmonster my ass….

submitted by /u/nightshade00013 [link] [comments]

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